I'm gonna write this in english, not because I wanna feel important (it's the least of what I wanna feel right now), because this is bigger than I imagine. That kind of stuff that only happens in movies or city legends.
I remember when a friend I care about told me that when things go bad, she used to get in fetal position in the corner inside her house and cry all over the night until her chest hurt so badly that crying wasn't an option to keep going. I saw myself in that picture. But to me, it used to happen every friday or saturday after work, when my head began to clear and started thinking, overthinking I would say.
Fortunately, I overcame couple of months ago and I found myself prepared to try a new beginning. Except today. Today was a horrible day. I was looking for some information, while surfing on the internet, playing a shining cibergame, doing non important things... when I realized that "that" stuff can change my entire life, but I just needed to be sure. So, I read and, by the time I finished, I was shaking. Real shake. Almost fear shake. All symptoms match is not a good situation. I'm not ready to know something like this. It's killing me to the bone! Tomorrow I hope to know the truth. This is real hell: to be certain that uncertainly will kill you slowly and faster than you can imagine.
